language.... There is
no egg in the eggplant, no ham in
the hamburger,
and neither pine nor apple in the
pineapple...
English muffins were not invented
in England...
French fries were not invented in
France!
We sometimes take English for
granted... But if we
examine its paradoxes we find that:
Quicksand
takes you down slowly... Boxing
rings are square...
And a guinea pig is neither from
Guinea nor is it a
pig.
If writers write, how come fingers
don‘t fing. If the
plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn‘t
the plural of
phone booth be phone beeth?
If the teacher taught, why didn‘t the
preacher
praught... If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what the
heck does a humanitarian eat?
Why do people recite at a play, yet
play at a recital?
Park on driveways and Drive on
parkways? How
can the weather be as hot as hell
on one day, and
as cold as hell on another...
You have to marvel at the unique
lunacy of a
language where a house can burn
up as it burns
down... And in which you fill in a
form by filling it
out... And a bell is only heard once
it goes!
English was invented by people, not
computers,
and it reflects the creativity of the
human race
(Which of course isn‘t a race at all)
That is why when the stars are out
they are
visible... But when the lights are out
they are
invisible! And why it is that when I
wind up my
watch It starts, but when I wind up
this poem... It
ends!
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